So I lived my life alone, without anyone
that I could really talk to. That night, I went to sleep on the sand, a
thousand miles from any human habitation. I was more isolated than a
shipwrecked sailor on a raft in the middle of the ocean. Thus you can imagine
my amazement, at sunrise, when I was awaken by an odd little voice.
It said, “What are you doing?”
“Sleeping.”
A long silent between us took me into my
sleeping.
It is a common day. I walk from the
North to the South, from the West to the East. I move and move, help the birds
fly to the warmth place. Smiling to the clouds and giving a morning greeting to
the old sea. It is a common day ‘till 7 o’clock. Under her leaves, a girl is
sitting in her blue dress. First time I see her, I know I fall in love with
her. She is writing something. I come close to her. It is about love and a boy.
She breaks my heart. I have been living
for thousand days. I have been living since the earth born. Today is a common
day even a girl in her blue dress sitting under the old tree breaks my heart. I
just want to show her my love. I move around her, blow her wavy hair, whisper
to her: I love you.
I have to go for reasons the earth know
them. I walk slowly, help the birds fly, and smile to the cloud. I move from
North to the South. From one place to another.
I
wake up earlier. I look at the clock. It’s 7 a.m. I look at the man sleeping on
my bed. I never think that I will be his. He is a doctor who has helped me
curing my mother. He is the most handsome man in this town for every woman
tries to be his girl. He is the most popular man in this town for everyone
knows him. He is the best choice of mine for he understands me and accepts me
whoever I am. But he is not the best man whom I love in my life. He will never
be.
I
was young when I first saw that man. He was a soldier, an ordinary soldier from
another town. He was in his rest time to cure himself for his chest had been
shot by the enemies on the war. That man visited our home in order to amuse
himself. He chose me. The first time we met, he looked deep in my eyes, then,
he chose me. My mother gave me to him with proud. It was my first time spending
my night with a man.
It was a lovely night. He left in the
morning, left me alone on the bed with a kiss before the leaving. In the
evening, he drank with his friend on the ground floor of my house, and at night
he chose me to accompany him spending his night. That was the same to the other
nights. Without a word, he came to our house, chose me, kissed me, and naked
me. He was the first man in my life. He was the only person who made me fall in
love. Mother always said that we should not fall in love with the man we were
sleeping with. But I was too young to understand. I always met him for several
months before the war was calling out his name.
I
can still feel his kisses, his hands, his skin. I can still hear his voice, his
laughing. I always remember what he always whispered to me. Those are gone
together with his love. My first man was died, so was my love. I just try to
move on, let myself happy without his love, his presence.
